


Wash It Off

by Blubunn



Series: Come Back To Me [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bathing/Washing, Catatonia, Diverges from 12x19, Explicit Consent, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Torture, M/M, Psychological Trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-13
Updated: 2017-08-13
Packaged: 2018-12-14 19:45:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,954
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11790159
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blubunn/pseuds/Blubunn
Summary: Dean brings Castiel to the bunker. He stumbles on a way to communicate through the angel's catatonia and attempts to comfort him.





	Wash It Off

**Author's Note:**

> I'm more of an artist than a writer, but I drew the bathtub scene, and wrote this out to accompany it. It turned out to be too long for me to comfortably put in a tumblr post, so I'll just tack it here. I plan to do more for this verse, so I'll just start it as a series and we'll see how it goes.
> 
>  
> 
> [Based on this pic](https://blusart.tumblr.com/post/164128788945)  
> [Master Artpost (*spoilers*)](https://blusart.tumblr.com/tagged/comebacktomeverse/chrono)

The further Dean took Castiel from the BMoL HQ where he had been held, the more violently his body shook. Castiel wouldn’t say anything, and he continued to stare blankly ahead of himself, but his body just seemed to be trying to shut into himself like a chill just grew colder and colder the further they went.

Castiel had been kept clean, and his healing ability hid any marks or abrasions Ketch may have placed on his body, so Dean really didn’t need to wash him. However, when he brought Castiel to the bunker, he seemed to gravitate more toward the shower room. His trembling body remained pliant to Dean’s direction, but Dean handled him so gently he was able to feel the slightest pressures of Castiel’s body that ended up directing him to the shower room. The shivers in Castiel's body became softer and softer and his pressures more noticeable until they were in the shower room, and his body was still once again.

“Do you want to shower?” Dean asked so softly, only Castiel, who he stood so close to, would be able to hear him. Castiel in return stayed so quiet, Dean could hear the pipes in the walls. There was a leak in one of them he would have to attend to at a later date.

The lightest pressure against his hand on Castiel’s left shoulder made Dean look toward the left where the bathtubs were kept. “A bath?” Dean asked softly, and he felt that slight pressure toward the baths again. It wasn’t insistent. If he hadn’t been handling Castiel so carefully, he wouldn’t have even felt it. He guided Castiel’s body toward the bathtub and sat him at the edge before he turned on the faucet.

Dean brought Castiel’s hand to the running water after it became lukewarm, cradling his hand in his own palm as Castiel's hand would drop if Dean released it. “Do you want it hotter?” he asked, watching Castiel’s face for any kind of response. Instead, he felt the slightest twitch in his hand. To calibrate the response, Dean asked, “Do you want it colder?” There was no response. He decided the twitches were a yes.

The two communicated that way until the water was almost too hot for Dean to handle. “Cas...” he murmured, “I’m going to stop here, ok.” At first there was no response, but when Dean’s lips parted to speak again, Castiel’s hand twitched, and Dean put the plug into the tub so it would begin to fill.

“I’ll leave you alone to clean up,” Dean whispered as he turned off the water once the tub was filled. He stood, but Castiel’s hand suddenly shot up and around Dean’s wrist, gripping so tightly that Dean couldn’t stop himself from wincing. When he sat back down, Castiel hand fell from him. “Cas,” he urged, "are you with me?" It had been the largest response he'd gotten out of Castiel since he found him, but Castiel sat unmoving on the edge of the tub, his blank blue eyes staring ahead.

Dean sighed after a moment, and took up Castiel's hand in a tender hold as he asked, "Do you want me to help you into the tub?" Castiel's hand gave a flimsy twitch.

Dean stood, still keeping the light hold on Castiel's hand. "I'm going to remove my jacket from you, ok?" Another twitch. Dean placed Castiel's hand on his lap and slid his jacket, which he draped over Castiel's shoulders to cover his nude body when he found him, off and let it slide to the floor.

Lifting his hand again, Dean looked at Castiel as he said, "I'm going to move you into the tub." Castiel twitched his hand, and Dean guided his body with a loose hold to his feet and into the tub till he was seated in the hot water.  
Dean lifted Castiel's hand again and asked, "Do you want me to stay?" Twitch. "Do you want me to sit in the tub with you." No response. "Do you want me to sit out here?" No response. "Would you like me to sit on the edge of the tub?" Twitch.

Dean moved to sit on the tub. He sat there for a few beats, neither saying a word, before Castiel's hand twitched again. Dean looked in his mind with what he knew in order to formulate a question Castiel could answer. "Do you want to wash?" he asked after thinking. Twitch. "Do you want me to wash you?" Castiel didn't respond immediately, but before Dean could formulate another question, he twitched his hand in Dean's. "Do you want me to wash you all over?" A shiver ran through Castiel's entire body. That wasn't a no like he'd established the lack of response. The shiver was a, "hell no."

"Would you like me to wash your hair?" Dean asked when Castiel stilled again. Twitch. "Your back?" Twitch. "Your chest?" Twitch. "Your legs?" No response. "Your penis?" Another shiver. It made Dean clench his jaw. Ketch had alluded to the things he'd done to Castiel, but it had been vague. All he really told him was that his angel was gone, but Dean refused to believe that. "Your butt?" Dean asked when Castiel stilled, but received another shiver that seemed to last much longer than the others. In fact, Castiel didn't slow to a stop until Dean assured him he wouldn't touch his butt.

"If I sat on the ledge behind you, with my feet in the water, would that be ok?" he asked when Castiel stilled. Twitch. "Will you be alright if I remove my shirt and pants so they don't get wet?" Castiel's hand seemed to hesitate, twitching so lightly as if he wasn't sure. "What if I just remove my shirt, and roll up my pants?" Twitch.

Dean placed Castiel's hand on the edge of the tub, and rolled up his pants as high as they would go. Before he moved for his shirt, he looked at Castiel and rested his hand over the angel's. "Would you like me to warm up the water?" he asked, realizing they had spent quite a bit of time talking this way. Twitch. Dean slowly reached the faucet on the opposite side of where Castiel's back rested and turned on the hot water, removing his other hand from Castiel's to dip it into the water that filled the tub. He played with the tub's plug to drain out some of the cooled water and replace it with the hot water until it was back to where Castiel originally wanted it.

Dean's movements were deliberate, and he stayed within Castiel's unmoving eyes until it was time to move behind him. "I'm going to move you forward a little so I can sit on the ledge behind you," he soothed, easing Castiel forward as he stepped into the tub and settled on the ledge behind him. He let Castiel settle back against his lap until his arms were resting on Dean's knees.

"I'm going to put your hand on my foot so you can talk to me," Dean whispered before he leaned forward, reaching for Castiel's hand on the edge of the tub and lowered it to his foot that rested beside the angel's hip beneath water.  
"I'm going to remove my shirt now, okay?" Twitch. Dean slid his shirt off, and tossed it at a safe distance from the tub. "I'm going to wet your hair now, ok?" Twitch. Dean dipped his hand into the water, and proceeded the slow task of wetting Castiel's hair, using his other hand to shield Castiel's eyes. It took some time with just his hand, but soon Castiel's hair was wet enough to be washed.

"I'm going to lather it up now, ok?" Twitch. Dean reached for the shampoo bottle much like the ones that rested next to the other tubs and in the showers. He opened it and gave it a little sniff. It was a bit stale, but it didn't smell bad. It was a man's shampoo, that was certain. When he poured it in his hand, it appeared like shampoo, but perhaps a bit thinner than normal. He wished he could get his own, but he didn't want to leave Castiel alone. This was the best he could do for the spontaneous bath.

Dean rubbed the shampoo in his hands over Castiel's head so any liquid that spilled out would fall onto it. Careful to keep it from his eyes, Dean spread the shampoo through Castiel's hair, easing it into a lather. He massaged the suds through Castiel's hair, the pads of his fingers pressing with just a gentle pressure against his scalp. Castiel remained unresponsive and quiet, but Dean felt the muscles in his arms relax little by little against his legs.

"Cas..." Dean murmured as he massaged the shampoo through Castiel's hair. "Cas, come back to me...He's dead, Cas...You're safe now...I'll protect you...I'll make sure you won't be hurt again...Come back to me, Cas...He's dead...You're safe now..." Dean whispered gentle words to his angel over and over, wondering if he could get him to come back. He continued whispering to Castiel as he shielded his eyes and proceeded with the tedious task of rinsing the shampoo from his hair with just his hand.

Dean poured more of the MoL issued shampoo in his hand, utilizing it was like military shampoo soap as there was no soap near by. He worked the lather over Castiel's back, never stopping his murmurs of assurance, protection, safety, calling. He kept his hands well above Castiel's waist as he washed his back, chest, and arms. If Castiel began to shiver even a little, Dean knew he was going to low and immediately switched direction, but his voice never faltered.

The water was warm again when he was finished, and Dean, making sure Castiel's hand was resting on his foot, asked, "Do you want me to wash anywhere else?" No response. "Do you want to sit in here for a while longer?" No response. "Are you ready to get out?" Twitch. Dean looked over to the towels at the other end of the room. "Do you want me to get a towel before I bring you out?" No response. "Are you okay to walk with me to the towels?" Twitch. "Okay, Cas, I'm going to step out first." Twitch.

Dean eased Castiel forward just enough to slide his foot over the edge and eased himself out from behind him. When he was settled on the ground, he guided Castiel from the tub and walked them toward the towels. He would drain the tub and retrieve his shirt and jacket later. For now, he wanted Castiel warm again.

When they got to the towels, Dean covered Castiel as best he could. He wrapped a towel around his waist. Another, Dean used to wipe Castiel's chest, back and arms dry before he draped the damp towel over his own shoulder and wrapped a dry towel around Castiel's shoulders. Using the damp towel, he patted Castiel's face and wet hair to get most of the water out until the towel was too wet to absorb anymore. He dropped the wet towel to the ground and used another dry towel to drape over Castiel's head, but out of his face, like a hood.

Taking up Castiel's hand, Dean asked, "Do you want something to eat?" No response. "Do you want me to take you to your room?" No response. Dean hesitated a moment, then asked, "Do you want to go to my room?" Twitch. "Do you want me to stay in there with you?" Twitch. Dean wasn't sure what to do after that, but he would get Castiel in there and warm him up before he figured out where to place himself in the room.

After he guided Castiel a good ways away from the shower room, Dean saw Sam shuffle into it from the corner of his eye, with steps as quiet as he could make them. Dean wondered if Sam had waited around the corner until they were finished. He imagined his brother would clean up after them, and mentally thanked his brother as he escorted Castiel to his room.

"I'll dress you, ok?" Dean said after he stood with Castiel in the middle of his room, still holding his hand in a featherlight grip. No response. Dean hesitated. "Do you want to stay naked?" A hesitant twitch. "How about a robe?" Twitch. Dean moved toward his dresser, but Castiel gripped his hand. He looked at Castiel who stared ahead of himself while his hand stretched out and gripped Dean in an iron hold. Dean returned to Castiel's side and guided him toward the dresser. Keeping within Castiel's reach, Dean stepped away from him and pulled the robe from his dresser, tossing it over his shoulder.

Dean shifted the towel over Castiel's shoulders so he could slip his arms into the sleeves of the robe, pulling it closed and tying it at the waist. Dean put Castiel's hand on his bare shoulder and said, "I'm going to slide this towel off now." He touched the towel tucked under the robe around Castiel's shoulders. Twitch. Dean eased the towel from Castiel's shoulders, and adjusted the robe to make up from the space the towel left.

"Do you want me to remove the towel at your waist?" Twitch. Dean was careful when he pushed the robe open below the belt, just enough to slide the towel out, keeping his eyes on Castiel's as the robe's flap closed over his genitals again.

"Can this towel come off now?" Dean touched the towel over Castiel's head. Twitch. He slid it off slowly and dropped it with the other towels. Dean stared into Castiel's eyes that seemed to be sparking like the flint of a lighter with no fluid. The angel's gaze didn't reflect Dean at all. It hurt Dean to see him struggling behind the walls he'd built up while Ketch had him.

"Come back to me, Cas..." Dean whispered again, repeating himself from the bath. He touched Castiel's face with light fingers. "I'm sorry I didn't know you were there. I'm sorry I didn't find you before he hurt you." He could see flickers in Castiel's eyes, but the angel still couldn't see past the walls he built. Dean moved forward with deliberate steps, wrapping his arms around Castiel. The angel's hand on Dean's shoulder slid off and down to his side, limp as Dean held him. "I'm so sorry..." he whispered, his voice breaking. Castiel remained so still in Dean's arms, staring with flickering eyes at the dresser over Dean's shoulder.

Dean trembled against Castiel as he held the angel, trying to keep the tears flooding his eyes from falling while he murmured apologies. After some time, Dean pulled back with a loud sniff and pressed his palms to his eyes, only a single tear escaping. He held his palms to his eyes for another few minutes, calming his breath before letting out a big one.

Dean looked at Castiel with reddened eyes and eased his hand back around the angel's. "Would you like to lie down?" Twitch. "Over the blankets?" No response. "Under the blankets?" Twitch. "Alone?" Shiver. "Do you want me under the blankets with you?" No response. "Do you want me to sit by the bed?" No response. "Do you want me to lie down with you?" Twitch. "Over the covers?" Twitch.

Dean shifted a little, his wet feet had dried, but they were freezing. "Would it be okay if I lie under the comforter while you were under the sheet beneath the comforter?" Twitch. Dean smiled with a bit of gratitude for that much, and guided Castiel to the bed. He pulled the sheets and comforter up and eased Castiel to lay beneath them. After Castiel was settled, Dean rounded the bed and slid under the comforters after unrolling his damp pant legs down again. It was a bit uncomfortable, but his feet would warm up soon.

Picking up Castiel's hand, Dean asked, "Do you want me to face my back to you?" No response. "Do you want me to hold you?" Twitch. Dean eased his arm under Castiel's neck and shifted his body toward himself, keeping his hand in Castiel's, and the sheet between them. Dean looked into Castiel's unseeing eyes, gently caressing his hand. His other hand caressed his back while he held the angel. "Do you need anything else?" No response.

Dean tightened his hand around Castiel's now, and he brought it to his lips. "Come back to me, Cas..." he murmured into Castiel's fingers. Castiel's eyes kept flickering, but they would not ignite with life no matter how many times Dean murmured the prayer. "He's dead...you're safe...I'll protect you..." He whispered it against the angel's hand until his eyes were too heavy to stay open. He whispered it until his breathing evened out, and he slept. He whispered it brokenly in his sleep.

=============

_Castiel's eyes continued to flicker as they rested, unseeing, over Dean. He could not escape the walls he built around himself tonight, but he desperately wanted to. The walls protected him from what Ketch did to him, was doing to him, but they were also keeping him from Dean. He focused on the words Dean whispered through the walls, and he beat against the walls with all his might. He would get through. He didn't care what pain was held at bay behind them. He needed to return to Dean. Ketch was dead. Castiel was safe. Dean will protect him._

 


End file.
